


Levi's Laugh

by YeahScience



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bad Jokes, Childishness, Dirty Jokes, Embarrassing laughs, Every kind of joke, Except it's tea this time, F/M, Fluff, Jokes, Kissing, Milk squirting out of nose, Tumblr Prompt, Wow those last two don't fit well together, laughing, levihan - Freeform, my life is a joke, parks and recreation - Freeform, poop jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-15 22:19:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11240436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YeahScience/pseuds/YeahScience
Summary: Hange Zoë is going to make Levi Ackerman laugh, dammit. She will break him like the Armored Titan broke Wall Maria. Even if it means telling him dozens of terrible, terrible jokes.And getting sprayed with nasal tea. Worth it.Based on tumblr prompt and a scene from Parks and Recreation (link in notes).





	Levi's Laugh

**Author's Note:**

> It's so late at night but for the second night in a row, a plot bunny is holding me at gunpoint and forcing me to write prompt fill fluff ;_; 
> 
> The more I write this the more I recognize striking similarities between Andy/April and LeviHan. Further study is needed...
> 
> Link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHVo8KwT300  
> Prompt: "Levi's Laugh"
> 
> WARNING: Language

“Levi~,” Hange whined, chin perched on her hands. The musty castle air floating around them was quiet. _Too quiet._

The short corporal shot a dichotomously fierce and apathetic glance across their shared office towards the squad leader. Her heart jumped into her throat and fluttered on tiny white and navy wings.

“What is it, Shitty-Glasses?” With his slit-like eyes fixated on the red-head, he continued to steep one of his precious black tea bags. Each dip permeated more of the aromatic herbs and spices around the steaming liquid.

“Why don’t you ever laugh?” She pined. Sure, Levi’s badass “nothing phases me” attitude was sultry as hell, but everybody looks good with a laugh on their lips and a smile on their face. (Except for the Smiling Titan…)

“Because I have high comedic standards,” he deadpanned. Hange was unsure if this was an attempt at humor. Levi was so damn bone dry and impossible to read. Nevertheless, she was apt to call him on his crap.

“That’s such horse shit!” she roared. “Since when are any of your seemingly endless supply of poop jokes EVER considered high-brow?” Not a single day passed in the Survey Corps without their Heichou making some kind of off-handed remark about Erwin’s bowels. Even the cadets were aware of this trope.

“I didn’t say I liked classy humor,” he huffed. “Class is entirely independent of the power of a joke.” Seemingly bored with their conversation, he wrapped his hand around the cuppa and sipped at it gently. His face showed only a transient flash of emotion: pure bliss.

 Hange was not about to let the shorty out of her trap yet. No, sirree. “Okay, Mr. Comedic Genius, so none of us can crack a joke that is funny enough for you? Is that it?” Her face scrunched up in indignation.

 Levi’s blank face provided the perfect ashen antithesis. “That’s exactly it. Now are you done talking? Talking to you is so painful that it’s giving me heartburn and ruining the flavor of my tea.”

Now he had really stepped in it. Hange was now determined to knock this cocky man off of his stubby little podium of superiority. Her eyes flashed with dangerous determination and her mouth formed a puckered scowl.

She was going to make him laugh. And it would be funny and revolutionary and _sexy. Very sexy. Hoho, yeah._

Levi noticed this terrifying change in her demeanor and set his tea down, anticipating an attack at any moment. His fists flew up into punching position when Hange leapt out of her chair, but all she did was drag it over to his desk and sit directly across from him. She slammed her palms face down on the oak and bore directly into Levi’s skull with fiery eyes.

 “ _Nanda?_ ” He droned, trying to swallow the deep sense of doom creeping up his throat.

“I am gonna make you laugh. Right here, right now. Mark my words,” Hange growled. Her fists curled into taut clubs.

 “Good luck,” Levi snorted wryly. “That doesn’t count.”

 Now it was Hange’s turn to feel doomed. Sure, she had heard some good jokes in her lifetime, ones that you think of a few days later and can’t help but chuckle at when you mentally recite the punchline. But were any of them strong enough to knock down Levi’s rigid and stoic persona? Doubt began to gnaw at her confidence. But to hell with that!

“And if I succeed in making you laugh, which I inevitably will, you owe me the kiss of my life, Levi Ackerman,” she harrumphed.

 Levi nodded. _Did I detect a little too much enthusiasm there?_ Hange wondered.

 “Knock knock,” she began. _Better start out easy. Warm him up, give him a false sense of security before I break out the big guns._

“Really, squad leader?” Levi cringed. “A knock knock joke? Have you forgotten that, as the cadets so often like to remind me, that I’m ‘old as fuck?’”

 “Hear me out, hear me out,” she begged. “Etch.”

 Levi cocked his head to the side in such a devilishly condescending manner. “Etch who?”

 “Bless you!” Hange squealed, throwing her arms up.

 Zero reaction from the corporal. Aside from another disappointed snort. “Pathetic, Shitty-Glasses. If you really want to make me laugh, you’re gonna need something more sophisticated than some elementary school joke.”

 Hange bit her lip and scanned her eyes around the room, hoping to jog her memory of any other jokes she had hiding in the back of her head.

 Then one popped into her head: one that was especially poignant in this situation. “Got one! Why are girlfriends and laxatives so similar?”

 This one seemed to pique Levi’s interest, Hange noticed, smirking. He raised a single eyebrow. “How so?”

 “Both irritate the shit out of you!” She put on her best shit-eating grin, ready to claim victory. A joke that incorporated not only the steamy sexual tension between them, but also feces?! Levi _had_ to laugh at that one.

 Levi budged only an inch. The tiniest corner of his mouth twitched. Even that miniscule movement seemed to light up his face and exponentiate his allure. Hange melted and had to bite her tongue to keep from “aww”-ing.

  _I gotta stick with the poop jokes,_ she thought. _That’s his favorite genre, bless his pint-sized and frozen heart._

 “Give up, Shitty-Glasses?” Levi mumbled. “I’m disappointed. I would’ve thought you’d try harder, considering how badly you want to kiss me.”

  _Shit,_ she thought. _Now_ he’s _toying with_ me. _Dammit, Levi, you should know how psychological torture works!_

An evil idea began to grow in the squad leader’s mind. This joke would take some effort, some setup, with multiple intricate parts that must be functioning in perfect unison. She heaved a great sigh and feigned resignation for a few moments. Just to throw him off.

 “Oh, wait, I forgot to mention something,” Hange interjected. She tried her utmost to make it sound cavalier and sincere and not at all like the total setup it was. Levi seemed to bite. “Erwin came and talked to me the other day.”

 “What’d he say?”

 “Well, apparently he’s having bathroom trouble.”

 Levi rolled his eyes, but twinkles of suspicion and anticipation flashed. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

 “He said every morning, he takes a shit at 0800 hours.”

 “And this is a problem, why?” The corporal was fast losing interest. In fact, he grew distracted and returned his attention to his tea, which was now cold, much to his dissatisfaction. Nevertheless, he took in a giant mouthful.

“Because he gets up at 9.”

That was it. That was the final crack that broke the dam. Quite literally, even. Hange was immediately assaulted with a fine mist of black tea that spewed right out of Levi’s mouth and nose. She had to close her eyes, but she heard uncontrollable spluttering, choking, and then—

Laughter.

The corporal had doubled over and was in full-blown hysterics. It came in great heavy guffaws punctuated by undignified snorts and hiccups. His whole body shook from the sheer force of the fit. If Hange had to describe it, she would say it sound like the mating call of a Titan in gastric distress. Deep growls followed by several little high-pitched chirps. _God, his laugh is almost funnier than that literally shitty joke!_

Tears had begun to well up in the 30-something-year-old’s narrow eyes and soon began to stream down his cheeks, mixing with the tea that was still dripping from his nose. His arms were wrapped around his lean torso as his abdominal muscles had begun to ache from the workout.

It took a full 30 seconds for the vertically challenged soldier to regain enough brain power to speak. He glanced up at Hange, his face red and flushed and dotted with sweat, tears, and tea.

“Shit, that burns,” he coughed, wiping his nose with the back of his hand absentmindedly. Then his eyes met hers.

Her whole face was sopping wet, thoroughly drenched with the caffeinated cascade her friend had spouted. One of her eyes twitched and her expression was dangerously volatile.

Before she could explode right back at him, he lunged across the desk and grabbed the back of her head. With his fingers buried in her ponytail, he stuck his lips right against hers. At first, she was taken aback. But they both knew how bad they wanted this, so she gave right in. Hange’s face blushed and heated up so hard that she felt the tea evaporate from her skin.

Their kiss lasted about as long as Levi’s laughing fit, and was just as enjoyable. When they parted, both their faces were smeared with tea… and each other’s saliva.

“Mm,” Levi hummed with bliss. “Black tea.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> *Stolen jokes were stolen from somewhere on the interwebs (google 'dumb jokes,' you'll find 'em on various websites). Here's your credit *throws confetti*
> 
> I thought the final joke was hilarious, sorry??? I need some sleep


End file.
